How Redemptive Accountability Shapes School Culture
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By: Riley DeSmit
The Doorway to Discipleship
Every morning at Valor Christian High School, I stand at what I call our “doorway to discipleship.” Greeting students is more than a routine; it’s an act of hospitality. A simple smile or handshake, accompanied by a “good morning,” reminds me daily that leadership begins with presence and relationship. My title may be Dean of Students, but my calling as an educator is to shepherd hearts.
Just beyond that entrance is the Dean’s Den, a phone-free space designed for connection. Here, students play games, share in fellowship, and find a place to be seen, known, loved, and belong. The Dean’s Den embodies a simple belief: relationship precedes correction. It’s also where I meet with parents and hold honest, sometimes difficult conversations about conflict and growth, a space that reflects every stage of discipleship.
Psalm 23 offers a model for our philosophy of discipline: “The Lord is my shepherd… he restores my soul.” That restorative rhythm guides everything we do, reminding us that discipline is ultimately about restoration, not retribution. We don’t just correct behavior; we walk with students toward reconciliation, just as our Good Shepherd walks with us.
Discipline as Discipleship
Early in my career, I treated discipline like a checklist, an infraction, a consequence, and a lesson supposedly learned. Yet, I noticed that compliance rarely led to transformation. Students might change their behavior, but their hearts remained unchanged. The process lacked relationship, and therefore, it lacked redemption.
Jon Eckert (2021) challenges this transactional mindset in Just Teaching. He calls educators to hold justice and mercy together and to apply accountability through love. When a student makes a mistake, the real work begins not in delivering consequences but in inviting them back into relationship.
At Valor, I had to live this truth while serving as both our Dean of Students and the lacrosse coach. One of my players made some poor choices that required a difficult disciplinary response. Among several consequences, the hardest was requiring him to sit out his final home game as a senior. As a four-year starter and team leader, the decision brought frustration and disappointment for him and his parents. There was no joy in that moment, only struggle.
Yet weeks later, that same student-athlete approached me with humility and invited me to host his Senior Presentation, an end-of-year tradition where seniors reflect on their growth. During his presentation, he named that moment of accountability as a turning point—not just in his behavior, but in his character. What began as discipline became discipleship.
The joy came not in the struggle itself, but in witnessing accountability become a catalyst for transformation. True joy in leadership often emerges when the hard work of discipline leads to redemption, reconciliation, and the shaping of character.
The Rod and the Staff
Psalm 23 continues: “Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” These tools are not symbols of control but of care. The rod protects, the staff guides. Together, they mirror how love holds truth and grace in tension.
As Keller (1970) explains in A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23, both instruments are extensions of the shepherd’s love—means of correction and comfort working together. At Valor, we see the rod as our disciplinary outcomes—detentions, service projects, or restorative meetings—and the staff as our formative tools, such as mentoring conversations, goal reflections, and teacher check-ins. Both protect students from harm while guiding them toward growth.
When school leaders hold boundaries with compassion, accountability stops feeling like control and starts feeling like care. Discipline divorced from relationship becomes punishment. But discipline grounded in discipleship becomes formation—reflecting the heart of the Shepherd who restores rather than rejects.
A Collective Calling
While the Dean’s Den has become a hub for relational restoration, the work cannot stay within its walls. I’ve invited teachers into this process as partners, elevating our shared care for students through discipline.
Each teacher is encouraged to look for students who demonstrate our shared values and to name those moments aloud—we call them “Speak Life Encounters.” Whether it’s a simple act of kindness or a quiet moment of perseverance, these affirmations build the culture we hope to see. We want to catch students doing good and acknowledge it publicly.
Just as important, teachers are equipped to address behaviors that conflict with our values—not as enforcers, but as shepherds themselves. When teachers and administrators lead together, the entire community learns that correction can coexist with compassion. That shared care transforms culture.
Restoring What Was Lost
Restoration is rarely efficient. It takes time to rebuild trust, to reconcile mistakes, and to remind students who they are in Christ. Yet this is the essence of shepherding. As I walk with students through adversity, I’m reminded of my own need for grace. Every act of restoration mirrors the gospel—the story of a God who disciplines in love and restores through relationship.
Each morning, as I greet students at the doorway, I’m reminded that belonging precedes behavior. The Dean’s Den may look like a simple room filled with puzzles and games, but it represents something far greater: the kingdom principle that relationship comes before correction.
When we lead through redemptive accountability, we embody the Shepherd’s heart. We remind students that they are seen, known, and loved, especially when correction is required. In a world that often mistakes authority for power, or lack of accountability as love, may we choose to lead like Christ, with a rod that protects, a staff that guides, and a heart that restores.
References
Eckert, J. (2021). Just Teaching: Feedback, Engagement, and Well-being for Each Student. Corwin.
Keller, P. W. (1970). A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23. Zondervan.llup.Com. https://www.gallup.com/education/231758/why-best-friend-school-matters-students-teachers.aspx
About the Author
Riley DeSmit grew up in Baltimore, Maryland, with his four siblings. Riley is a proud graduate of Johns Hopkins University, where he earned a BA in Economics and played Division I men’s lacrosse over his four years. Throughout his own educational career and post-graduation, Riley served as a full-time staff member of the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) before becoming an educator. He currently serves as the Dean of Students at Valor Christian High School in Highlands Ranch, CO, and is a coach for the varsity boys’ lacrosse team. Riley has an unwavering commitment to the spiritual, mental, and physical development of boys and girls, preparing them for a lifetime of Christian service. Outside of school, Riley is blessed to adventure in and around the Rockies with his wife Stephanie and their three wonderful children.