How Self-Reflection Shapes Leadership
By: Katie Ahmadzai
A little over a year ago, my husband and I attended a lecture by an author who has written extensively about curiosity. As an educator, curiosity has always felt foundational to my “why.” I want students to wonder, discover, and create. I want to be a lifelong learner, examining and refining my pedagogy. I want to remain curious about the people I work with, so I can lead with empathy and understanding.
So, when the speaker suggested that leaders need to begin by being curious about themselves, I nodded in agreement but also felt a twinge of resistance. I was comfortable helping others explore and grow, yet turning curiosity inward felt vulnerable.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that my awareness of this resistance was actually an invitation, a call to discover how curiosity about myself could positively impact my leadership.
Self-Curiosity Reduces Reactivity
Leadership is full of decisions, pressures, and emotional interactions. We respond not just out of strategy, but out of our inner world, including our beliefs, fears, hopes, habits, and histories. I needed to develop a habit of pausing to slow down and reflect, yet I told myself I was just “too busy.” The truth was, I was afraid of what I might see.
Being curious about myself takes courage.
While building this habit of self-curiosity, I often found myself walking away from a meeting feeling defensive after receiving feedback, or anxious about how a peer would respond to my feedback. Realizing my emotions helped me avoid reacting impulsively, but it didn’t address the root issue. My initial response was not curiosity, but critique. I felt like I needed to make myself respond “better.”
Yet growth in leadership requires not only honesty, but grace.
God does not ask us to examine ourselves in order to fix ourselves. He invites us to see ourselves truthfully because He already sees us truthfully, fully known and fully loved. Curiosity in the presence of God becomes participation in transformation.
Self-Curiosity Helps Us Ask Deeper Questions
Walking forward with curiosity about myself meant that instead of judging, I needed to ask questions and invite God into the conversation. Some of the questions I regularly ask myself include:
- What emotions or reactions are showing up in me right now?
Not whether they are “right,” simply noticing what they are. - What might these emotions be pointing to in me? fear, hunger, pride, exhaustion
- Knowing God already sees and knows me completely, what would it look like to bring these feelings before Him and ask His presence to transform me?
These questions slow down the moment. They create space to listen and choose to respond from a place of identity in Him, rather than reacting from self-preservation.
Self-Curiosity Supports Collective Leadership
Leaders influence the emotional climate of their schools. If I am not curious about what is happening in me, my team will feel the byproduct of my unexamined reactions:
- Defensiveness can create distance.
- Urgency can create anxiety.
- Frustration can create fear.
However, when I approach myself with curiosity and grace, I can approach others the same way. Curiosity becomes both a relational and spiritual posture:
- Instead of assuming, I ask.
- Instead of reacting, I listen.
- Instead of controlling, I collaborate.
Recently, during a team conversation, I noticed myself feeling tense during a difficult exchange between two peers. Instead of jumping in to control or subdue the conversation, I paused. I realized my response was about my own comfort, not the issue at hand. Once I named my feelings and invited God into the space, I could engage in a way that encouraged a richer, more honest discussion.
Collective leadership grows when curiosity is practiced together, not just individually. I need to allow my team to be curious about me, offering insight or perspective I may not see on my own. Shared curiosity becomes the soil of unity.
Self-Curiosity Promotes Continuous Growth
At the Baylor Center for School Leadership, we use the PDSA cycle (Plan, Do, Study, Act) to support continuous improvement. The “Study” step requires slowing down and honestly examining what is happening before making adjustments.
The same principle applies to leadership:
- Notice what is happening around and within me.
- Reflect with honesty and humility.
- Ask for wisdom and adjust with grace.
Curiosity as Formation
Reflection is not about trying harder or correcting ourselves into better leaders. It is about surrendering to God’s transforming presence. When I ask honest questions, I am not trying to control my growth but recognizing where God is already at work. Curiosity becomes a way of cooperating rather than striving. Curiosity is a posture that invites God to shape my reactions, desires, and patterns with grace instead of self-judgment.
As leaders, we are formed to cultivate environments of shalom, courage, belonging, and shared flourishing. How we attend to our interior life impacts the emotional and relational climate around us. Curiosity, then, is not simply a reflective practice or leadership technique. It is a spiritual posture, a humble readiness to pause, listen, and be reshaped.
When we allow God and trusted community to walk with us in this process, we not only grow, but also create space for others to grow alongside us.
About the Author
Katie Ahmadzai is a Catalyst with Baylor University’s Center for School Leadership and a graduate of Baylor’s first Master’s in School Leadership cohort. During her 22 years in education, she has served as a math teacher, curriculum developer, and principal at public, private, and international schools. She now serves on the board of NorthStar Academy. She lives in Northwest Arkansas with her family and is committed to creating engaging learning communities that foster flourishing and reflect the beauty of the Kingdom.