This spring, our MA Fellows in the School Leadership program will share blog posts about their coursework and learning journey. Interested in becoming part of a future cohort? Connect with us here.
By: Peyton Pearson
The Importance of Relationships in Education
After nearly seven years in education, I have found that meaningful relationships are not only crucial to our well-being, but they are necessary to aid in growing our communication and feedback. While a vast majority of our days are spent with our students, it is the relationships that we cultivate outside the four walls of our classrooms that sustain us.
A typical teacher spends around 54 hours per week at school (Oftentimes more), and you may be thinking, “Surely not all 54 hours are spent with students,” and you would be correct. Any extra time that teachers have at school is often spent with other adults in the building planning rigorous lessons, reviewing IEPs, working to respond to parent emails, or planning for professional learning, just to name a few. However, seldom do we use that extra time to check in on one another personally. In order to succeed professionally, people need to know that they are seen, cared for, and known personally. The common basic need in all humans is their need for connection, however, it remains a challenge that that connection in the workplace rarely exists.
I have served in both the public and private school sector under various school leaders, many of whom say that their main focus is staff well-being, yet when I walk around the building, teachers look worn out, spread thin, and overwhelmed. About three months ago, there were many changes that took place within our school that drew whisperings amongst staff members. Shortly after, I noticed the morale of our school began to decrease as the communication lessened. As I began to put the pieces together, it dawned on me that the very thing we were craving was not only authentic relationships, but communication.
The Consequences of Poor Communication in Schools
Healthy communication practices are foundational to any workplace. When not present, there is growing tension amongst all stakeholders, and as a result, distrust in administration and community members are more prevalent, causing classrooms to function in disarray. When teachers feel that they can go to a person when they have a conflict is contingent upon the environment that is present. If the environment is hostile and does not place an emphasis on problem solving, healthy communication patterns are less likely to occur. This directly transfers to how we communicate in the classroom with our students and parents, as well as how students communicate with one another. If I do not foster a classroom where each student does not feel seen, heard, and loved, I cannot expect that communication will exist. Not only is communication a key tool that needs to be explicitly taught in classrooms, I would suggest that this very concept is a transferable concept and theme that fosters the teaching of community, perspective, and tolerance. When students see themselves as part of the equation and are taught how to communicate with one another, they will transfer other crucial concepts that cannot be quantified by data, such as how to be a loyal friend, how to exercise their own creativity in a world that thrives off of logic, or even how they can persevere in a task or a difficult season.
So what does this have to do with the relationships we have with other adults in the school building? If we are spending nearly 54 hours a week in a place where we as adults do not feel safe to communicate with those around us, our relationships will not flourish, and this will directly affect our students that are entrusted to us five days a week.
Teaching Communication: A Transferable Skill
To establish healthy practices that will eventually lead to positive relationships, I have implemented one specific ideal into my everyday language that has aided in my conversations with others.
This particular practice is the concept of looping. When we are in conflict, one of the stumbling blocks we see is that both parties have a difficult time understanding one another’s perspectives. Through the technique of looping, which means that we are actively listening to understand, we are able to build our relationships both professionally and personally. This process takes place in four steps. For better clarity, I will use two hypothetical employees and provide a sample conversation. We will call these employees Ben and Rachel. In this situation, Ben is going to ask questions and use looping to gain understanding from Rachel regarding a missed deadline.
Ben: Hey Rachel, I noticed the project deadline for the report last week wasn’t met, and I wanted to make sure I checked in with you. Do you mind sharing what happened?
Rachel: Well, I was juggling multiple things last week. I became quite overwhelmed with some last minute requests, so by the time I got around to the report, I had already fallen behind, and honestly, it just didn’t feel like I had the time to do it all well and I wanted to put 100% effort into it.
Ben: Okay, it sounds like you had a lot of competing priorities, and you weren’t able to give the report the attention it needed. It seems like the time constraints caused the delay, and it wasn’t about a lack of effort but more about managing everything at once. Is that right?
Rachel: Yes, that’s exactly right. I was trying to manage everything, but it just became too much at once, and I didn’t want to submit something rushed. I should have communicated earlier that I needed more time, and that’s my fault.
Ben: I hear you. So, it wasn’t about abandoning the task, but instead trying to balance multiple pieces and realizing the report wasn’t up to your standards. And as a result, you feel you should have spoken up earlier. That makes sense. Is that how you see it?
Rachel: Yes, that’s exactly it. I should have said something sooner so we could have adjusted the timeline if needed be. I was afraid of adding stress to the team by asking for more time because I know everyone is extremely busy.
Ben: I appreciate you sharing that, Rachel. I can see how you were trying to avoid adding more pressure to the team, but it’s good to know that communicating earlier would have helped. I’ll make sure we keep open lines of communication in the future so we can manage these situations better. Does that sound like a good plan moving forward?
Rachel: Yes, definitely. I’ll work on being more open when I’m feeling overwhelmed. I really appreciate your understanding.
Moving Forward with Healthy Communication Practices
By utilizing this process, both parties are left feeling heard, and as a result, both parties feel energized to work with one another in the future should conflict arise. Looping has helped me greatly as I navigate the feelings and emotions of those around me. As teachers, we are in the business of people, and are called to will the good of others. This shows genuine care for the parties you are in communication with, and will allow you to concentrate on doing the good work that is set before you with the people we spend so much time with. By bridging the missing communication pieces that so often exist in our workplace culture, we are cultivating not only a safe and welcoming environment for our staff members to come to everyday, but we are also establishing a safe and welcoming environment for our students. Students observe how adults interact with one another. Adults observe how other adults interact with one another. We all need connection.
About the Author
Peyton Pearson is a third-grade teacher at Hyde Park Schools in Austin, Texas, where she turns math into a dance party and finds ways to make learning as fun as it is educational. She has spent four years in the public classroom setting in her hometown of Atlanta, Georgia, and is rounding out her third year in private school in Austin. A lifelong learner, Peyton is also pursuing a master’s degree at Baylor University’s School of Educational Leadership where she also serves as a fellow. She’s passionate about creating an inclusive, warm classroom environment and building meaningful relationships with every student. When she’s not leading worship at her school’s weekly chapel service or reimagining math through song and dance, you’ll find her roaming the halls, chatting with fellow teachers instead of planning in her own classroom—because collaboration beats isolation, hands down.