This spring, our MA Fellows in the School Leadership program will share blog posts about their coursework and learning journey. Interested in becoming part of a future cohort? Connect with us here.
By: Ashley Loaiza
In the rush of daily life, it’s easy to quickly judge students. I learned a profound lesson about assumptions when Bella, a student I originally saw as disengaged, revealed a truth that challenged my approach to student wellbeing. Her story has become a turning point in how I truly see and champion my students.
I pulled Bella into the Deans’ office in October. She had missed seven math classes, and it wasn’t even fall break. She walked in with an attitude, eyes half-open as if she were annoyed. When I asked why she had so many absences, she just shrugged. She didn’t say much, so I told her she needed to go to class, thanked her for stopping by, emailed her parents my spiel about the consequences of continued absences, and checked it off my list. I even commented to a colleague, “How hard is it to just show up?”
It turns out, it can be pretty hard. Less than two months later, before Christmas break, HR sent an email informing us that Bella’s mom had passed away after a long battle with cancer.
I had no idea. I gave her no space to be vulnerable about what was going on in her world. She had missed math on mornings her mom had treatments. Bella was prioritizing being present with her mom at the end of her life, which was far more important than being present in class.
As I’ve studied leadership principles in Baylor’s School Leadership program, I’ve learned that prioritizing the wellbeing of each student is not only good, but essential in my pursuit of becoming a great educator. And in order to do this, I have to truly see my students, I have to know them, and I have to find ways to unearth the (sometimes) deeply-hidden gold that is inside of them.
The Hidden Battles our Students Face
As teachers, we can get stuck in our surface-level assumptions. A student turns something in late, and I assume they’re lazy–I’ve heard every excuse. Another misses a test and doesn’t want to retake it–until the zero shows up in the grade book. Some get sick right as a semester-long project is due, others use AI on assignments and claim ignorance about cheating. My default assumption has often been that they’re lazy, entitled, or disorganized.
As high school educators, we’re often conditioned to assume students are manipulating us. But we must be cautious about assumptions. Just as Bella wasn’t skipping class because she was a checked-out senior, many other students are facing battles they shouldn’t have to fight that we know nothing about.
Consider the statistics: suicide rates in the U.S. have risen 24% over the last 20 years, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. The Cyberbullying Research Center reports nearly 24% of middle- and high-school students had been asked to share explicit photos by 2019. The U.S. Census Bureau found in 2020 that 30% of students don’t live with both parents at all times.
And in 2023, the CDC revealed that 9% of students reported being threatened or injured with a weapon at school, while 19% reported being bullied. This is the reality our students face.
As educators, we partner with parents to shape the identity of the students entrusted to us. With roughly 100 hours per year to engage each student, our job goes far beyond teaching content–we help form humans. Students need us to see them, know them, and to champion them so we can uncover their unique gifts as they grow into who God created them to be.
Champions See and Know their People
If we’re honest, we all need champions. Those who teach us the most will always be the ones who truly know us the best. I’m a Dean of Students at an esteemed Christian high school, a Student Fellow at Baylor’s Center for School Leadership, and the Executive Director for a ministry in Costa Rica. These titles may look impressive, but under the surface, I’m a divorced, single mom. My life often feels far from put together, and I don’t want to be teachable by people who haven’t taken the time to truly know me or learn my story. But I’ve been blessed with an incredible community of people who have chosen to truly know me. Who have hitched their wagon to mine and often carried me, had hard conversations with me, sat in the pit with me, been present for me. A tribe who has seen past the surface and helped me to uncover the next chapter. May we be educators who do the same.
In his book Just Teaching: Feedback, Engagement, and Well-Being for Each Student, Dr. Jonathan Eckert argues that “each student must be seen and known. This requires building, cultivating, and sustaining relationships with students. As educators, we are not just responding to culture, we are responding to individuals” (Eckert, 2023, p. 17).
Let’s see our students as individuals who need to be seen and known. Let’s help them find their next chapter, rather than letting them quit halfway through the book when it looks a little hopeless. I sheepishly wrote to my home girl this afternoon and told her I was sorry, both for her mom and for my own lack of awareness. I don’t know if I’ll earn back that relationship. But I am reminded today that I have to keep digging deeper to find the gold in each student. If we truly want to impact our students, we must do this. We must move past the surface, see them, know them, champion them, challenge them, and unearth the brilliant story God has written that they are meant to shine in this world.
Reference:
Eckert, J. (2023). Just teaching: Feedback, Engagement, and Well-Being for Each Student. Corwin Press.
About the Author
Ashley Loaiza serves as a Dean of Students at Valor Christian High School, the Executive Director of Destiny Project in Costa Rica, and most recently, a Student Fellow for the Baylor MA in School Leadership. As a single mom balancing personal and professional challenges, she is dedicated to fostering educational environments that recognize and unleash students’ full potential and help to shape their God-given purpose.