Writing, as it is often done mostly in solitude, can feel very personal. It is also undoubtedly a vulnerable thing to share, as it was something we have created. We have no one to blame but ourselves. When sharing a piece of writing with someone, we may feel hope that the reader “gets it,” conviction or uncertainty that they will, and fear that they won’t. Many of us feel shy to share our writing, as readers may gleam a bit about ourselves in the words.
These feelings are completely valid, and many writers struggle with seeking and accepting feedback because of it. But you really should seek readers, and here’s why:
Excepting private journals and notes, most writing is meant to convey a message to an audience. If your goal of a piece is to convince an audience of something (even, in a way, if it’s to get your professor to give you and ‘A’), then the feedback process is one of the most important you can undertake. Otherwise, you can only hope to meet your goal. Writing for an outside audience and never seeking feedback is like the equivalent of only ever taking practice swings in golf. Sure, you’re pretty confident you could hit a golf ball if it was in front of you, but can you really be sure?
Writing is another form of conversation. When we speak to others, we are constantly receiving feedback, verbally and through body language. This constant feedback has allowed us to hone our conversation skills and improve how we get our point across. Writing is simply conversation on a page, from you to the intended audience. (To read more on audience, check out our blog post The Power of Knowing Your Audience.) Just like in normal conversation, we must seek feedback on our writing, as well, to understand how we are coming across.
We can be blind to our flaws. Without that constant feedback like in a spoken conversation, we can write an entire piece without ever realizing that it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. You know what you mean, of course, but readers might not. This is the great freedom of writing, where no one can interrupt you and you can take the time to refine your thoughts; but, with no one to interrupt you, there is also no one to say, “Oh, wait a minute, what do you mean?” Only by consciously seeking feedback from readers can you gain this understanding.
Your piece may never feel ready. A popular excuse–and sometimes a valid one–is that “I cannot share my writing yet. It’s not ready.” While it is true that we should aim to put our best foot forward with readers to gain even more useful commentary, it is also true that critique in every stage of writing can be immensely useful. In fact, good critique in the early stages of writing might even save you a massive editing headache later on. If sharing an earlier draft, you might want to preface that to your reader so they don’t waste energy searching for grammatical errors, and instead may discuss your core ideas with you.
It gets easier. Sharing a piece of writing might feel supremely embarrassing. Whenever I shared my writing, I used to have to lock myself in another room while the reader read–anything but witness their facial expressions! But, the more feedback you get on your writing, the easier it becomes to receive it. This is the process of separation between ourselves and our words that most of us are already comfortable with in spoken conversation–no big deal if I make a mistake while speaking to a friend. I am not my words. Readers understand this and do not hold your words as personally to you and you likely do. Think about when you’ve read your friends’ papers before–was it really that serious if you had a critique for them? Did you think less of them as a person, or even remember it the next day? Try to endure the discomfort of sharing your work; eventually, it will become much easier.
