We are so pleased to welcome Rachel Carmichael to BearTracks. Rachel is a Doctorate of Nursing Practice student in the Baylor University Louise Herrington School of Nursing. She is completing a 6-week travel nurse assignment in New York, in which she has been working with COVID-19 patients. As Kristi Feutz, Associate Dean of the Louise Herrington School of Nursing wrote, “Our students are putting their own health on the line to do what nurses do best, caring for others.” Thank you, Rachel, and for all our nursing students who have continued to care for all of us during this pandemic.
The past doesn’t have to dictate your present.
The past doesn’t have to define your future.
The past does not have to be your identity or reality.
As I stand at the bedside of my sedated and intubated patient who is not getting better and not getting worse…she just is in a recovery holding pattern, I couldn’t help but notice her wedding ring tucked away safely in a container we normally use for dentures.
To be honest, thinking back on the scene brings tears to my eyes. Her beautiful life…her beautiful wedding ring that was once chosen with such care and expectation is now in a cup used for dentures at the bedside of my patient who has fought hard for her life.
It’s devastating, sobering, and humbling all at the same time. It’s devastating to see first-hand the effects this virus is having on people…forget the title of patient…because each patient truly is a person with a story…with a journey that lead them to this very moment in time where the Lord chose for our paths to intersect.
This beautiful woman is a wife…and she was…before she was ever a patient.
I’ve found over the past two months, sometimes covid patients can be looked upon with a certain stigma or with judgement.
I have heard people off-handedly mention how upset they are that people just didn’t do their part and now they are where they are, because of carelessness…in a hospital fighting for their lives infected with covid.
Let me just stop that line of thinking right. now.
Who knows if this woman was at the grocery store and was being so careful but didn’t realize the person in front of her had covid and had infected the area where she was shopping…what if she was infected by a family member who unknowingly had the virus…what if she was being careless…
Regardless of the reason, of her past, she is right here right now.
She has a past, has a story, has a family, has a community, has friends, has a healthcare team that is working timelessly to partner with her in the battle for her life.
She is fearfully and wonderfully made, loved by her Father in Heaven…whether she is aware of this or not.
Every decision she has made, every place she has gone, all of it has lead her here.
Yet, her past does not have to dictate her present or her future. Covid does not have to be a death sentence. For some, it isn’t.
I pray this woman’s future is bright, that surviving covid will not define her but rather be used to grow her, mold and shape her into more of the image of Christ…I pray she comes to have a personal relationship with her Maker, her Savior, her Great Physician if she does not already.
As I closed the zipper on the makeshift, tent-like door to my patient’s negative pressure room armed with more medical supplies, her ring container catches my eye again. While her left hand is swollen and covered in sores from the virus having left its lasting mark, I pray she is able to wear her ring again one day soon and be reunited with her family…that covid may leave physical marks but will not mark her life. I pray her life will be marked by Christ, that she will be in awe of His grace and power in her life in such a powerful and clear way by bringing her through the Mount Everest like summit of fighting covid and now descending on the other side towards recovery.
These “patient bedside” truths are just as true for me and you. God could not have been more perfect with His timing in reminding me of these truths today. Every moment, every decision-whether good or bad- has lead me to this point…has lead you to where you are today…ask yourself…
do you like where you are?
Those scars you may be carrying, fear and anxiety you may be facing, feelings of intense grief you think will overwhelm you…it does not have to define or mark you. God has given you the strength to overcome the pain of the past and is weaving it all together into a beautiful tapestry, a masterpiece of His mercy and love.
I’m thankful for today…that even in the midst of such a hard place to be right now, holding the hand of a patient who is not conscious and doesn’t even know I’m there, God is still giving glimpses of beauty.
God is still using this crazy time of covid for His glory and our good.